I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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