She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just google imaged poop.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you traded sex for a burrito?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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