got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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