Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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