After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
