I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
