yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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