if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
