I didn't shave. On purpose
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize