Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
