Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
