Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize