we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize