He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
