he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
