well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
