Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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