i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
