u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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