You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
what is it with giant penises always finding me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
