no. you can't hotbox the world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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