Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize