In the future we'll all be gay
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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