Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
