Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
