guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize