they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
