I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
