no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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