found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
