I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
