When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
