I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
