after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
