I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
