Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
