He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize