Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize