his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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