It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
this is an emotional support booty call
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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