She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
