Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
