Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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