So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
