You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
