Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
