The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
