you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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