is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
