I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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