So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize