honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize