you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
