you win again, gameday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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