went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
