return my video game
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
