She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
