How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
