this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
