just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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